So we woke up yesterday morning to one of the
most bizarre Twitter storms we are likely to see all year, as Super Eagles Head
Coach Sunday Oliseh decided it was a good idea to post a video of himself going
into a full-on, no-holds-barred rant/meltdown, raging against fellow
ex-Internationals, critics, NFF officials, “agents” and everyone in between.
In case you have been living under a rock, here
is the stunning video outburst by the 43 year-old former Super Eagles captain
from his current base in Belgium. In truly dramatic style, he even recorded a
Part 2 for good measure!
After witnessing this latest installment of the
slowly advancing train wreck that Oliseh’s relationship with the NFF is turning
into, we decided to put together a list of five deliciously bizarre instances of
relationships that started off in heaven before slowly advancing into hellfire
breakup territory.
Enjoy!
1. Brymo vs Chocolate City
Play this song before you start reading this. Seriously. It has to be playing while you read for this to make sense. Playing it? OK let’s begin.
Ultra-mega super-talented singer meets
progressive new record label.
Record label promotes the amazing talent of this
amazing artiste.
Artiste releases successful album with record
label.
All is right with the world.
Stop the song now.
Play this one now.
Artiste has a difference in opinion with label.
The disagreement grows.
Artiste takes to Twitter to announce that he has
parted ways with the label.
The record label responds with a tersely worded statement that can be interpreted as a veiled threat to Brymo.
Stop the song and play this one now.
Eventually the matter is settled as Brymo is
allowed to go his way while Chocolate City apparently gets hold of some nuclear
powered jazz which prevents Brymo from getting the recognition his music
deserves.
Nowadays, he records fantastic album after
fantastic album, stunning song after stunning song. No dice. He is the best
artiste in Nigeria by a long distance, but nobody cares. Those who do care only
stop by for 5 seconds on YouTube to say the same thing:
2. Carlos Tevez vs. Roberto Mancini
It is September 2011 and Manchester City is competing in the UEFA Champions League for the very first time. During a group stage match against Bayern Munich at the Allianz Arena in Munich, Germany, Manchester City is losing and close to being overrun by Bayern. They need to do something to change the game fast. Club record £25.5m signing and top scorer, Carlos Tevez is fit and on the bench. And he is a bit upset by it. Very upset in fact as everyone will soon find out.
“No boss. I no play tonight. Either I start or I no play. No soy un jugador sustituto. Si senor?”
Manchester City end up losing the game heavily and the entire fan base of Manchester City has a
new public enemy number one. A furious Mancini declares “His career here is finished! Tevez will
never play for me again!”
Tevez on his part flies away back to Argentina
where he is pictured playing golf and generally having the time of his life
while his teammates at Manchester City struggle for consistency in the run-up to
the title race.
This story ends well however as Tevez eventually
apologizes to Mancini and makes it back to Manchester in time to play a part in
the most famous footballing moment of 2012. Tevez and Mancini got to hug and
makeup in the end. Everyone likes a happy ending.
Awwwww
3. Woody Allen vs. Mia Farrow
Film director Woody Allen split with his
long-time partner Mia Farrow in 1992. Now that in itself is not such a
remarkable occurrence, least of all in Hollywood of all places.
However, immediately after the split, Soon-Yi Previn, Farrow’s 21 year-old daughter whom she adopted at age 7 in South Korea, moved in with Allen and the two began dating despite the 35-year age difference and the sketchy ethics of such a relationship. They got married in 1997 and they even have two children now.
Ouch!
Imagine being dumped by your husband…for your
daughter. While no one has ever been able to get an interview with Mia Farrow
to find out how she feels, Woody Allen in a 2015 NPR
interview said,
“I’m 35 years older, and somehow, through no fault of mine
or hers, the dynamic worked. I was paternal. She responded to someone who was
paternal. She deferred to me, and I was happy to give her an enormous amount of
decision-making just as a gift and let her take charge of so many things. She
flourished. It was just a good luck thing.”
And Soon-Yi?
Speaking to TIME
magazine in 1992 she said,
“To think
that Woody was in any way a father or stepfather to me is laughable.”
Well…we’ll just leave that here and tiptoe to
number 4…
4. Oliseh vs. NFA Part 1
What, you thought Sunday Oliseh would not make an appearance on a list inspired by him? Do you want him to flog you?
“It's not the coach deciding the team,
it's somebody above him who is deciding for him who he should play.”
With these words, Oliseh dismissed
Super Eagles manager Adegboye Onigbinde while speaking to the BBC in 2002 a few
months before the FIFA World Cup. It started as a dispute over unpaid travel
ticket refunds that were due to the players from the NFA during the 2002
African Cup of Nations in Mali where Nigeria finished third.
In time-honoured NFA tradition, the
money to pay the entitlements was either not there or not forthcoming. “Bear
with us,” was the message from the NFA to the players. Super Eagles captain
Oliseh was having none of it. After taking a swipe at Amodu Shuaibu, Stephen
Keshi and Adegboye Onigbinde in quick succession, he next took aim at the
Minister of Sports Ishaya Mark Aku, reportedly calling him a “Useless man!” to his face. Or so the
grapevine insists anyway.
(Abeg we
no dey there o. Na wetin we hear o.)
An enraged NFF and sports ministry made
sure Oliseh was never picked in the Super Eagles squad again and he never kicked
a ball for Nigeria after that – an unexpected end to a 9-year international
career spanning two world cups, 3 AFCONs and an Olympic football tournament.
And speaking of abrupt ends to playing
careers due to hot-tempered clashes…
…5. Oliseh vs. Vahid Hashemian!
OLISEH AGAIN?!
And why
this creepy, aggressive-looking picture of him?
It is difficult to look past one of the most
surprising football events of 2004. While on the books of Borussia Dortmund and
loaned out to VFL Bochum, a 30 year-old Oliseh confronted Iranian teammate
Vahid Hashemian in a heated halftime dressing room argument. No one knows for
sure what Mr. Hashemian said to Oliseh, but what we do know is that Oliseh
proceeded to produce the most epic head-butt of 2004, breaking Hashemian’s nose
and putting him out of action for several weeks. This was Vahid Hashemian after
his ‘Oliseh moment.’
He never hesperrerit.
Bochum immediately cancelled his loan agreement and
he never kicked a ball for Dortmund again as they subsequently terminated his
contract. He retired from football two years later after a season in the
Belgian Jupiler Pro League.
Oga Oliseh
please take it easy o.
Holly cow, these are not good to hear. I'm sorry for many of them. Jasa Penerjemah
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